To Be Frank: Beware of sleeping beauty

I consider myself an enjoyer of merrymaking. Music, social gatherings, parties, if you will, are all things I not only tolerate but also activities in which I revel. Frankly, I’m also of the mindset that beauty sleep is a luxury — NAY — a requirement, for a happy, healthy existence.

I myself require less beauty sleep than the average creature because I am naturally aesthetically pleasing. However, at times it is nearly impossible for even a gentleman as handsome as me to acquire adequate, restful slumber on our fair isle.

Which leads us to the crux of the matter—noise ordinance violations.

It is not a mere suggestion to adhere to the policies set forth by our local powers that be. We have decibel limits for a reason. This island is a peaceful, tranquil place in which to reside, and while horseplay can be a joyful, necessary experience, there is a time and a place, and 2 a.m. on a residential avenue meets neither the time nor the place requirement for raucous behavior. Seventy decibels seems to be the max level of noise permitted at any given point in time on our island, and even this level is not tolerated after 10 p.m.

While I would be hesitant to proclaim to be an expert on what 70 decibels sounds like exactly, I can most assuredly discern between an appropriate level of noise and those levels of noise that are, dare I say it, rude. No one expects you, dear neighbor, to possess a sound level meter to determine the proper volume level acceptable for any given time of day. No one should feel such pressure for perfection.

The simple answer here is to mind our manners, especially when the sun fades into darkness and many of our island friends and neighbors seek the solace of slumber. Save some energy for another day, turn down that music, cease the cornhole and curtail all boisterous behaviors that might preclude those near you from getting a full night’s rest.

I thank you, sincerely, because beauty sleep is clearly falling by the wayside, and that is something that should motivate us all into compliance.

By Frank